1. Seek to blend two religious traditions by looking for common elements that will harmonize, rather than unique elements that may clash or appear to vie for dominance.

2. Consider a non-denominational ceremony if you do not feel positively attached to the religion of your origin, but have not developed an alternative.

3. Don't order everything on the menu for the reception dinner, of course. Likewise, don't include every ritual in the ceremony. Follow Coco Chanel's advice for good taste: get ready, then remove one accessory before you leave.

4. Choosing the classics for the processional and recessional will always be correct. But consider jazz, folk, New Age, Asian, gentle rock or whatever your musical passion may be, this side of Metallica or Eminem. Even many houses of worship are open to alternatives today.

5. Keep music other than processional and recessional to a minimum. The wedding party has nothing to do during this music, and even a short song can seem to last an eternity.

6. Include a memorial prayer or recognition for anyone whose recent passing has had an emotional impact on the wedding party.

7. Write your own vows, if you prefer. Review them with your officiant, even if you want to keep them from your fiancé until the ceremony itself. This eliminates inside jokes and references that may not go over well.

8. Write a short paragraph about how you first met or the moment you knew h/she was the one, and read them to each other before the vows. Or have your officiant read them.

9. Include very special small children in the ceremony by giving them rings, bracelets or necklaces after the ring exchange.

10. Don't light unity or other candles during outdoor ceremonies unless their blowing out will not disturb you.

-From "105 Inside Tips to a Flawless Wedding" by Rev. Darrell E. Berger, available from www.DBergerYes.com.